I braved the sleet to venture up to the corner coffee shop tonight to write this post, seeking an atmosphere more conducive to creative writing. Being in the coffee shop and suddenly feeling more inspired to write is probably something like a placebo effect, but who doesn't enjoy a nice mug of warm, Costa Rican blend placebo once in awhile? More than that, I just wanted to get out of the house. After weeks of buildup (procrastination?), I sat down to complete my tax return tonight. For something that results in getting me money back, it's amazing how much I loathe completing my tax return. It's one of those things that feels good when you finally complete it, but still, the dollars you get back barely seem worth it.
|When I say 8x11 sheet, I actually mean "noc list"|
It worked! Wonder of wonders, I was able to advance through the site and filled out all my tax forms without a hitch.
OH WAIT, NO IT DIDN'T HAPPEN THAT WAY AT ALL. SAME PROBLEMS. "FILLABLE FORMS" REMAIN UNFILLED.
So my next move was obvious, right? Slam the computer lid shut, storm out of the house, and retire with hasty step to the coffee shop where I now sit licking my wounds. My IRS-inflicted wounds. In cruel irony, the password to use the wireless internet at the coffee shop tonight is "patience."
|Actually, I had my financial advisor take care of everything|
|Here's another idea to create jobs: Re-institute bootlegging|
This is the kind of quick fix, easy-win solution that will help get the country back on its proverbial feet. Nobody likes doing tax returns, right? But the tax system is necessary, and people need jobs, right? Makes sense to me. And it beats the hell out of "fillable forms."
With everything being online these days, it really is necessary to keep a cheat sheet of all the passwords and usernames that you accumulate over time as you create accounts for various programs and websites. Before long, like it or not, we will have RFID tags inserted in our bodies, and although they may cause some initial discomfort and psychological unease, soon the built-in "calming effect" program that will surely be standard in the RFID tags will be activated, and you can get on with enjoying the benefits of these implanted devices, like not having to keep a list of passwords. Bill payments? No problem! Doctor's appointments? Scheduled automatically! Tickets to the show? Piece of cake! Piece of cake? Read your mind! It's in your pantry now! All of these things will be done without hassle or complication.
Does this future seem too cold and impersonal to you? Not to worry. To ease the transition, people dedicated to the task of traveling door-to-door will personally install your tag with just the right amount of human touch. They'll be clad in festive colors and will greet you warmly, happy to have gotten one of the thousands of jobs that's been created under this plan I've come up with. Let me share some of the numbers with you...
|Hate to break it to you chap, but the song was ours originally. Stevie just borrowed it. He payed all necessary royalties of course. They're kind of like money you have to give up from the income you receive.|